Thursday, May 6, 2010

When One's Cup Runs Over!

A good friend gave me this cup recently. The word that runs around the top says Integrity. Her reasoning for the gift was that this word comes up whenever she thinks of me and the personal training and development work that I do. It is a word I hold dear and I was very touched at the gesture.

Integrity is a funny word. I grew up with a different definition of it than I have today. That definition was filled with judgements of right and wrong, assessments and memories of not ever quite able to measure up. That definition allowed little love to flow and no one could ever have felt honored or heavens forbid, able to make a mistake!

Many if my clients in my marketing company speak of how the company has much integrity. Sometimes I wonder under which definition I hear the assessment and at other times I have to invent or create from nothing...like make up how I am hearing what is being said to let it into my heart!

These past few months have had me embracing and wanting to run from the practices of what this word invokes. Everyone from others to myself have called my integrity into question from many moralistic perspectives! In those moments, I have to root myself to the earth and remember I may not be what is being spoken. I have to look at whether there are embellishments, projections and how others see me. I have definitely learned the fine art of granting grace and forgiveness for some of what I have heard! Funny...having integrity means you can grant those! Interesting! Forgiveness nor grace can be fully granted if one is coming from a moral perspective. Otherwise one is just full of crap.

I love the definition I have been swimming in for the past several months in my Power and Contribution Course with Landmark Education. It is simple though not easy. the definition is loving and gives room for one's human capacities, strengths and weaknesses. It grants forgiveness for mistakes and the ability to clear up communications when the opportunity presents itself. It allows one to determine what is within one's personal integrity and not how someone else thinks you should be. There are no woulda's, coulda's, shoulda's because if I am standing there, there is no accountability. A man who led one of my courses once said if there is blame, shame or upset, you are not being accountable for something. Okay! I understand that! If I am standing in the idea that I create my life, there is just owning self. And for me most importantly, I get to determine and own who I will be. That is all I really can own!

INTEGRITY....Hmmm??? The definition I work with now knowing there is no perfection to be had in it all. Integrity is a practice. Sometimes one practices and fails. So let's see what the definition I use is...."Nothing hidden, being truthful and honest. Doing complete work, working from an empowering context. Doing very well what you do. Doing it as it was meant to be done or better, and without cutting corners." Okay...well this part seems pretty straight forward most of the time. Boy oh boy though....the part that gets me a fair amount it holding it all in an empowering context! How can one mess up and be empowered by it! LOL! Now that is where I am training and developing myself!

In other terms....Integrity is Honoring One's Word! Not like a moral judgment however. Like "doing what you know to do. Doing what you said you would do and on time." Okay....I get this part!

Now here is another part I get stuck in...."doing what others could expect you would to do even if you haven't said you would do it." Now...I am not a mind reader! How the heck do I know what others expect??????? Hmmm???????? Pondering this one. I kind of get it and damn...I feel I fail everyone in this section! LOL!

"and saying when you are not doing this as soon as you realize you won't be doing it or won't be doing it on time." Got this part too. I can let you know when I can't get it cone and remake a promise!

So what do I do with the areas I am not good at....PRACTICE! FAIL! PRACTICE! FAIL! and you know what else....Hold it in an empowering context!

No one has 100% integrity. No one! But when one practices it, stands in it, holds it like a beautiful possibility to live life in, incredible things happen in life! Magic happens! Abundance happens! Love happens!

So why might all of this occur??? Because there is room for all of who we are as human beings to flow, live, dance and play! We can be alive in the possibility of life not being handled but being one incredible journey unfolding moment by moment!

So....PRACTICE! My next posts will be about ways to practice and some practices to put into place I have discovered!


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