Sunday, April 11, 2010

Our pasts and gratitude...

I love this picture! It reminds me of what it feels like to be a chicken and at the same time goofy enough to stand up, out from the crowd and be yourself! I bought it from a photographer on istockphoto.com.

Sometimes when I look at my past, and I wonder how I got to where I am. Not necessarily about my career and family, but in looking at the people in the various circles in life in which I am connected. Each circle and person have taught and continue to teach me special gifts that support my own continuing growth. At times, in sweet kind, loving ways. then in other groups, the lessons are harsh, cruel, relentless and at times mean. Some feel fun, and some do not.

For all of these lessons I am grateful and work to create continued gratitude for the experiences. Some of the lessons have stuck and created a better world for myself and my family. Lately however, I am throwing many of the lessons out, shifting gears. The insights and lessons have taught me great things, made me stronger and now I question if those ways of being are mine to own any longer. A life and opportunity to create a world of gratitude are all around me right now. There is peace there and all I need to do is stand in being someone who is grateful and loving. Standing in anything less makes me feel small and not in my own skin. This is someone I know, the skin fits perfectly. There is wholeness.

These days as I step into new promises for my life, I look to what draws me to be that person. I am no longer interested in circles filled with drama llama types, angry people who project their thoughts on others or unkind people. No vampiric beings only interested in themselves begging me to come save them at ungodly hours of the day or night. No battle axes who are only interested in telling me who I am or what I am doing that is wrong or worse, threatening me if I do not do it their way. It feels nice though at times I wait for the shoe to drop and someone around me to morph into likenesses of these images.

While I can love and care about the people in these circles, I just am not fed by chasing fires, or jumping through hoops to prove myself or to be like some sort of creature who needs to take on the ways of others to be loved. I am perfectly lovable just the way I am and I am clear there are many dear ones who love me deeply. So why would I want anything different!

Sometimes I can blindside myself though. One reason I might suck into what I am not committed to is it is a way to show myself and others I cannot do it. A self sabotage mechanism. It will allow the old me to make myself wrong about being able to transform my life and give others the power of reminding me that people cannot change. Wow! How sad that is but we all do it to a degree or so. I also could stay entangled in the web of the familiar world of being a victim. Not owning myself. Not standing for my dreams and living in a world of shame and blame. Holy cow!!!! I am so not committed to that one! Ick!

Tonight a colleague said to me..."
Shifting your paradigm creates temporary chaos as those around you struggle to avoid changing their relationship with you. Hang in there - they will adapt. It's like a flock of birds on a wire - one moves and the others rise up in a fuss but they all settle down again in new relative positions."

LOL! Thank you my friend for that analogy! I giggled! It is so true.

So here I am, promising to be one who inspires and empowers others to love the magic of their lives and dreams! If you can't deal with that...too bad. Be careful of me....I might dangerously infect your sensibilities!

Next thing you know....you will start to see the miracles of your life!
Post a Comment