Sunday, April 11, 2010

Our pasts and gratitude...

I love this picture! It reminds me of what it feels like to be a chicken and at the same time goofy enough to stand up, out from the crowd and be yourself! I bought it from a photographer on

Sometimes when I look at my past, and I wonder how I got to where I am. Not necessarily about my career and family, but in looking at the people in the various circles in life in which I am connected. Each circle and person have taught and continue to teach me special gifts that support my own continuing growth. At times, in sweet kind, loving ways. then in other groups, the lessons are harsh, cruel, relentless and at times mean. Some feel fun, and some do not.

For all of these lessons I am grateful and work to create continued gratitude for the experiences. Some of the lessons have stuck and created a better world for myself and my family. Lately however, I am throwing many of the lessons out, shifting gears. The insights and lessons have taught me great things, made me stronger and now I question if those ways of being are mine to own any longer. A life and opportunity to create a world of gratitude are all around me right now. There is peace there and all I need to do is stand in being someone who is grateful and loving. Standing in anything less makes me feel small and not in my own skin. This is someone I know, the skin fits perfectly. There is wholeness.

These days as I step into new promises for my life, I look to what draws me to be that person. I am no longer interested in circles filled with drama llama types, angry people who project their thoughts on others or unkind people. No vampiric beings only interested in themselves begging me to come save them at ungodly hours of the day or night. No battle axes who are only interested in telling me who I am or what I am doing that is wrong or worse, threatening me if I do not do it their way. It feels nice though at times I wait for the shoe to drop and someone around me to morph into likenesses of these images.

While I can love and care about the people in these circles, I just am not fed by chasing fires, or jumping through hoops to prove myself or to be like some sort of creature who needs to take on the ways of others to be loved. I am perfectly lovable just the way I am and I am clear there are many dear ones who love me deeply. So why would I want anything different!

Sometimes I can blindside myself though. One reason I might suck into what I am not committed to is it is a way to show myself and others I cannot do it. A self sabotage mechanism. It will allow the old me to make myself wrong about being able to transform my life and give others the power of reminding me that people cannot change. Wow! How sad that is but we all do it to a degree or so. I also could stay entangled in the web of the familiar world of being a victim. Not owning myself. Not standing for my dreams and living in a world of shame and blame. Holy cow!!!! I am so not committed to that one! Ick!

Tonight a colleague said to me..."
Shifting your paradigm creates temporary chaos as those around you struggle to avoid changing their relationship with you. Hang in there - they will adapt. It's like a flock of birds on a wire - one moves and the others rise up in a fuss but they all settle down again in new relative positions."

LOL! Thank you my friend for that analogy! I giggled! It is so true.

So here I am, promising to be one who inspires and empowers others to love the magic of their lives and dreams! If you can't deal with that...too bad. Be careful of me....I might dangerously infect your sensibilities!

Next thing you will start to see the miracles of your life!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Stuff Happens....

Sometimes stuff happens that is totally out of alignment with who you are, what you stand for and how you think life should go. It can happen in an instant. Blind side you and maybe even turn a great day quickly. Yesterday, or what still feels like today I had one of these. My teachings and trainings inform me I can chose my reactions, how I deal with it and so on. They also say that if there is an upset around it there is something you have not said lurking about. Hmmm????

So...I also have an agreement to not knowingly create upsets. I wonder, does anyone ever REALLY head into meetings, dates, soirees, or whatever knowing they were going to create an upset? I don't know, it appears some people must or do. And well what if the something you have not said that is lurking about is something that you KNOW will create upset. Seems like you just might be between a rock and a hard place?

What do to with this little moral dilemma? Take it on, just say things, get it over with, create the upset and clean it up...if you can? Not say it, have the situations keep occurring and not create upset, since you have an agreement not to do this knowlingly? Good golly....this is feeling like one big merry go round ride and there is not even any fun in it.

Sometimes I just walk away from things like this. Other times I listen to what is really going on. That is generally where I find the most productive solutions and possibly even the way to say what I need to and have it all turn out well.
Tonight...I am choosing to listen deeply. Not just to all of the words said during the upsetting situation today, but to my heart also. Walking away gets easy sometimes and I declared it not an option for me any longer. (...and trust me...I second guess that choice right and left!)

After all I have a promise right? I giggle and twinge as I think of that. I find the picture I took of a friend's hand saying "I promise." I think of another friend's promise bank. Crap I hate promising sometimes...and I know one thing for sure, with out a promise, I would not be so committed to resolving all of this.

So what is my heart saying that maybe, just maybe, the other's heart is saying too? Are we trying to say the same thing like mirrors reflecting one another? My guess is whatever it is there is a great love and affinity sitting underneath it all. It is like cleaning the closet and finding a beautiful gem lost. Only in this case it is more like weeding through human reactions to find the beautiful beings within.

For now, it is time to rest and sleep. Maybe even dream for more sunshine tomorrow. So sleep well my peeps.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

All It Takes is a Promise!

Since September I have been participating in a course I have wanted to do for many years called Power & Contribution. Not because I wanted power...I thought actually I had none and well for me, contribution was really about takers, users and giving one's self and money away and not really knowing where it went. Wow! I had so much past thinking and events in my life collapsed on top of two words I would come to embrace and love knowing they reflected totally who I am in this world.

So what have I learned...I have a promise for the world. One I might never see achieved in my lifetime. One that I have set in a time frame and may need to change a millions times. A promise so closely rooted in the core of my soul that I can live fully as who I am and not flinch an inch. My promise is all about empowering, inspiring and celebrating the wonderful and magical life each one of us lead. My promise as a result is that by 2025, all human beings will be present to the sacred and divine essence of one another and working together in joy! Simple, to the point and the context in which I choose to live my life.

So I have chosen to use this blog as an expression and a place to share what I learn living inside of that promise. Funny...I have had this blog space for a very long time. I never used it. I signed on to read blogs of my friends and family. I did not figure I really had much to say so a blog was simply silly to me. As I have participated in this course and listened to those around me I have learned something very not listen to own tapes. They fool me, disempower me, and lead to by-ins that are no good. Instead of this, I have learned that if I simply trust and step fully into who those around me see me as I can do bigger things in life. I do not stay small. I can spread my wings and fly!

So this is for all of humanity looking to spread wings and fly! For those who think dreams are unattainable, silly, whimpy, irresponsible and something only little children play with. This is to inspire those who want to attain great things. For those who are looking to live life fully. For those who take every moment of life...good, bad, ugly, beautiful and use it to empower themselves and others to embrace every moment as a sacred and wildly great journey.

Why? 'Cuz...Life is Magic! Just open your arms and fly!