Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Sometimes stuff happens that is totally out of alignment with who you are, what you stand for and how you think life should go. It can happen in an instant. Blind side you and maybe even turn a great day quickly. Yesterday, or what still feels like today I had one of these. My teachings and trainings inform me I can chose my reactions, how I deal with it and so on. They also say that if there is an upset around it there is something you have not said lurking about. Hmmm????
So...I also have an agreement to not knowingly create upsets. I wonder, does anyone ever REALLY head into meetings, dates, soirees, or whatever knowing they were going to create an upset? I don't know, it appears some people must or do. And well what if the something you have not said that is lurking about is something that you KNOW will create upset. Seems like you just might be between a rock and a hard place?
What do to with this little moral dilemma? Take it on, just say things, get it over with, create the upset and clean it up...if you can? Not say it, have the situations keep occurring and not create upset, since you have an agreement not to do this knowlingly? Good golly....this is feeling like one big merry go round ride and there is not even any fun in it.
Sometimes I just walk away from things like this. Other times I listen to what is really going on. That is generally where I find the most productive solutions and possibly even the way to say what I need to and have it all turn out well. Tonight...I am choosing to listen deeply. Not just to all of the words said during the upsetting situation today, but to my heart also. Walking away gets easy sometimes and I declared it not an option for me any longer. (...and trust me...I second guess that choice right and left!)
After all I have a promise right? I giggle and twinge as I think of that. I find the picture I took of a friend's hand saying "I promise." I think of another friend's promise bank. Crap I hate promising sometimes...and I know one thing for sure, with out a promise, I would not be so committed to resolving all of this.
So what is my heart saying that maybe, just maybe, the other's heart is saying too? Are we trying to say the same thing like mirrors reflecting one another? My guess is whatever it is there is a great love and affinity sitting underneath it all. It is like cleaning the closet and finding a beautiful gem lost. Only in this case it is more like weeding through human reactions to find the beautiful beings within.
For now, it is time to rest and sleep. Maybe even dream for more sunshine tomorrow. So sleep well my peeps.